A Response to A Friend’s Sentiments
Monday, October 17th, 2005This is written as a reply to Jayvee’s email…
Jayvee’s dad passed away last Thursday, October 13. In light of this, he wrote down his reflections about life being too short and shared it to us through the ever-reliable yahoogroups. Following is my response to his sentiments:
Yes, life is indeed always too short. For the past few years, I had my share of significant experiences that never fail to remind me of this truth. Before, life was always so light for me. I took it a step at a time never really realizing that my earthtime is slowly running out. Yes, there were deaths but never in my immediate family or relatives so they did not affect me in any way. Until Death swooped down on a loved one. My realization that life is short started with a death in the family, as what always happens.
My grandfather (father’s side) died some two years back. March 22, 2003, if my memory serves me right. It was so sad. We were very close. A few days after his funeral, I still find myself crying all of a sudden because I never forget the last time that we talked. It was on my birthday. He gave me a phone call to greet me and to apologize for not being able to send me anything. I can distinctly recall him saying, "’Di bale, ‘pag may kita sa manggahan… (referring to the family’s mango orchard in Pampanga)." Apparently, he couldn’t send me anything coz he had no money. He was still waiting for his shares in the mango orchard to come. It didn’t matter anyway. I wasn’t looking for gifts or anything. It was enough that he remembered just like he always did. At that time, the family was aware of his colon cancer but although we knew that death could only be the one to put an end to that illness, we never expected that it would still catch us off guard. I was shocked and extremely saddened when my lola brought us the bad news… "wala na si Lolo n’yo," she said over the phone. I shed sad tears after hanging up but was consoled by the fact that he died seemingly peaceful and contented. Death came knocking at his door one day when he said he wasn’t feeling very well. An ambulance was called but while waiting for it to arrive, my Lolo said he felt tired and wanted to get some sleep. So he proceeded to his bedroom and when my Lola checked on him after a while, he wasn’t breathing anymore. He was already taken away from us. But like I said, it consoled me to know that he died a peaceful death though underneath, he was struggling to fight for his life. That night, he was cremated. We watched him as we paid our last respects (though at this point, I felt that it wasn’t right to look at him like spectators watching some pitiful dead person). And then he was burned to ashes.
My aunt’s husband also died though I can barely recall the time of his death (whether it was after or before my Lolo’s). But like my Lolo, Tito Vic was also very dear to the family. I was close to him as well having lived with his family in my younger years when my parents went to Cebu. I could still remember those times when we would play games in the Family Computer. He also loves to cook so family get-togethers were never complete without his specialties. Tito Vic’s death came like a thief in the night. He died in a motorcycle accident leaving his wife and three young kids behind. The family mourned for him as if he was an original member of the family. We never considered him as an "outsider." We all loved him that much.
Then in June of this year, Death stopped by to claim another loved one’s life. This time it’s my Lola’s, my mother’s mother. We were with her during her last hours on earth (the night before she died, we stayed in our grandparents’ house in Batangas but I had to leave for Manila the next day coz I had work not knowing that I wouldn’t be able to see her alive again). All her children and grandchildren tried to be with her and see her before she passed away. I regret that I wasn’t by her side before she died though but I know that she died happily in the arms of all her loved ones. My Lola was never neglected like other people who are abandoned by their family and relatives in their old age. Each and every child and grandchild loved my Lola and cared for her in every way possible. We always included her and my Lolo in all family outings and get-togethers even if they had to be fetched all the way from Batangas. My family in my mother’s side is very big that’s why we always have fun whenever we’re together. We were close-knit even if we had to deal with many people all the time. My Lolo and Lola was blessed with 12 children though 2 passed away before their time… but still, 10 was left to them. Blessings never stopped coming in coz they were given a total of more than 40 grandchildren and great-grandchildren combined (I already lost count). I would always look forward to all the outings and reunions. This family is THE family in every sense of the word. I never felt detached. I always feel like I belong. I always feel welcome. But things have changed somehow. My Lolo is sad and sickly after my Lola passed away. Aunts and cousins have started to go in separate ways. Reunions and get-togethers, if ever they will happen again, will never be the same without the matriarch and other family relations (by the way, our last out-of-town trip was when we had a summer outing in Laguna… that was the last time that both Lola and Tito Vic were present with us). But what’s done is done. I guess the only thing left for us to do is to move on.
Matanda na nga talaga ang panahon. So in order to deal with this, we just have to stand up and pick up where we left off after we tumble down. We just have to find the Blue Bird of Happiness (like the one in the movie K-Pax) after a cloak of sadness crosses our paths. Me, I have many regrets in relation to my late loved ones and the biggest of which is that they wouldn’t be able to see my little Halo. But then I just bear in mind that though they have left the earth, they also left behind memories for us to cherish.
Life is too short, yes. But memories live long. So probably the best way to deal with the brevity of life is to make every moment count and create happy memories out of these that will linger. In the end, it wouldn’t matter if our loved ones’ earthbound bodies are gone. After all, it is our memories of them that will infinitely and eternally live on.
